This has been a tough year for me, death-wise. I’ve been to a few too many funerals and had too many friends and mentors pass away.
Me personally, I never thought I’d live past forty. Why? Because of all the crazy stuff I used to do when I was much younger.
I used to go on long hikes in very “questionable” woods by myself and climb rocks without any safety gear and explore caves that weren’t safe and drive like a stuntman and fish in snake infested waters; you get the idea.
And then there were the friends I hung around with in my early youth. Sad to say, but of the first three best friends I had back then, all have passed on.
First to go was my best friend ever, Jerry Ramsey. He died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. We never did know if he meant to or not. He was eighteen when he died.
Next to go was Floyd Grindle, my best friend in middle school. He died when we were in our early twenties. He was drunk and hit a power pole while traveling at a very high rate of speed.
Finally, there is my best friend in elementary school, Larry Sudberry. He took his on life not long after his 25th birthday,
All of them were good guys but there was a “devil-may-care” attitude they shared. They thought they were invincible.
I shared this attitude with them.
It’s natural I guess, to wonder why I am here writing this now. I’m here but they are all gone. What was different about me. I lived on the edge as much as possible back then. Hell, I once climbed out of a moving station wagon and out onto the luggage rack and rode for a few miles before anyone knew I was gone. Does that sound smart to you?
I have no answer or reason for why I am here today except maybe that’s the way God wants it. I always tried to enjoy life to the fullest while I’ve been here. I have tried to learn everything I can, raised one beautiful daughter and well into the second, got a college degree, proved myself in the workplace, and so many more things I can’t even think of them.
I packed it all in at a feverish pace because I never expected to make it past forty.
But I did. And I’m damn glad I did.
I don’t know the plan God has for me, but I don’t worry about that anymore either. I’m forty-three now and living on borrowed time (in a non-literal sense). It’s all good.
I just can’t wait to see the next day and what it will bring.